Heiteres aus dem Kontrollturm

LOWA · Post by **LOWA** » 24. Jul 2005, 08:07

Tower: DE..., fliegen Sie weiter im Gegenanflug für die 26, Landenummer 2 hinter einer DC 9 im kurzen Endteil.

Pilot: Verstanden, fliege weiter für die 29 und folge der DC 6.

Tower: Nicht ganz richtig: Die Landebahn war 26 und Ihr Verkehr eine DC9.

Pilot: Okay, ich folge der DC 26... Wie war die Landebahn ?

LOWA · Post by **LOWA** » 24. Jul 2005, 08:07

Tower: You are in a Military Controlzone without clearance. Your callsign please !

Pilot: I´m not silly...

Martin · Post by **Martin** » 24. Jul 2005, 13:58

"You know you've landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi."Fliegerweisheit

N5528P · Post by **N5528P** » 31. Jul 2005, 16:13

A/C: "Radar, we're a flight of two A10s, currently overhead and, er, we've forgotten our callsign"

RAD: "No problem, we'll allocate temporary ones: adopt callsign Stupid One and Stupid Two"
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A/C: "LHR Ground, Speedbird 123 request taxy."

GND: "Speedbird 123, hold position, you'll be following a Virgin with a tight slot."
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PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first". The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.
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A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high. San,Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.
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Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f***ing bored!". Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!" Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was f***ing bored, not f***ing stupid!"
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7." Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ... by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?" Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger; and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."
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O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound." United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ...I've got that Fokker in sight.
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Kingair · Post by **Kingair** » 3. Aug 2005, 19:30

in Deutscher Übersetzung

Pilot einer Sportflugzeuges im Landanflug

: Tower, am Ende der Landband XY , kreist ein Schwarm Geier - ich hoffe die warten nicht auf mich...

Tower: das hängt von ihrer Landung ab :ghpf:

N5528P · Post by **N5528P** » 24. Oct 2005, 21:43

Ein paar nette Mitschnitte:

http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~benhoffman/UA203.mp3

http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~benhoffman/JFK-Twr.mp3

http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~benhoffman/ZNY.wav

Sollte alles mit Rechtsklich speicherbar sein...

Viel SPass!

Bernhard

maxmobil · Post by **maxmobil** » 25. Oct 2005, 17:31

N5528P wrote:A/C: "LHR Ground, Speedbird 123 request taxy."

GND: "Speedbird 123, hold position, you'll be following a Virgin with a tight slot." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Der geht noch weiter:

A/C: "I will be happy to follw a viorgin with a tight slot"..

davidkunz/VIE · Post by **davidkunz/VIE** » 25. Oct 2005, 17:41

Tower: Sir, your gear seems not to be in place.
CPT: Listen! I operate my aircraft, you operate your tower.

maxmobil · Post by **maxmobil** » 25. Oct 2005, 17:42

SELBST gehörtes:

Langen Radar: zum 5ten Mal..."Singapore XXX how do You read?"

Singapore XXX: "I am sorry, my captain is always talking, talking, I couldn't hear You"

Andere Stimme von Singapore XX:"Yes I am sorry, it was my fault!"

N5528P · Post by **N5528P** » 29. Oct 2005, 10:04

ABC123: "Maastricht, G'evenink. ABC123 FL330 to GMH (Germinghausen)."

Maastricht: (With an obvious "Hmmmm...." tone) "I show you routing (via) Nomka??"

ABC123: "Yessir, last 'sektor' gave us GMH."

Maastricht: "OK, would you accept direct Nomka?"

ABC123: "Yes we would"

Maastricht: "You sound very agreeable. Would you accept direct Oslo?"

ABC123: "....ahh.... yes....? (half baffled crewman)"

Maastricht: "I thought so. You are cleared direct Nomka." (Laughter in the background at Maastricht CTR).

(Quick location lesson: GMH and Nomka were appropriate(-ish) for that flight. Oslo was, ahh, just a teensy bit north of track, shall we say!!)

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CDE234: "Maastricht, CDE234 FL370, Non RVSM."

Maastricht: "CDE234 identified, and good thing you are not RVSM as we aren't either!" (more chuckles in the background!)

N5528P · Post by **N5528P** » 23. Nov 2005, 15:39

After passing under the Goodyear blimp on final (it was transitting the area over lying LAX) I heard this on frequency to the jet landing after us:

LAX: "SWA 123 cleared to land 24R, use caution for the blimp...don't hit 'em.
SWA:"Cleared to land 24R, SWA 123...OK, but can we scare 'em?"
LAX: "Too close for missiles, switching to guns".

Gotta love a controller with a sense of humor.